Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything . . .”

It had been a short night for both of us.  Especially for my husband who had been on call that night for OB.  But as of yet, I have not been able to sleep well when I know he’s in the hospital and dealing with difficult situations.  As I was coming on for the next 24 hours he was updating me on what had happened over night.  He’d had three more women come in during the night in addition to the two I left him from my last shift –two first time moms and one who wanted a vaginal delivery after her last delivery via c-section (making her high risk for uterus rupture).  In addition, he’d been working all night with another patient that I’d admitted the day before whose baby had probably died anywhere from one to three weeks ago and she was about six weeks shy of being full term.  This was a very difficult situation, not only emotionally, but also medically as this baby was breech (butt first) and her last delivery was a c-section.   We had made several phone calls to talk with other OB’s in the US that we had worked with to ask them their opinion on the best way to work with this patient and her baby –there was no easy answer.  Our biggest concern was that her uterus would rupture and we could potentially lose mom, in addition to having already lost baby.

Thoughts:  How do you not worry when it is someone’s life and their baby’s life that is in your care?  The quality and/or quickness of the decisions you make can make a difference for them of life, death, or disability.  These decisions also affect them financially –if they have enough money to buy food or clothes.  Worry has always been a struggle of mine and here it seems to have amplified.

“. . . but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” 

Of the five patients he had worked with during the night, he was leaving me three after one delivered vaginally and one required a c-section secondary to fetal distress.  The question now became if the other three would be able to deliver as well or were we looking at three more c-sections?  As the morning progressed so was the progression of labor of the mother whose baby had died inside of her.  After a few more hours, they called me letting me know that she was wanting to push.  Ok, now the hard part comes for me, delivering the baby, not only breech but with the uncertainty of what kind of condition the baby would be in. I prayed asking God for help and wisdom.  As the butt came out I had more difficulty then I had anticipated delivering the legs, but was able to do so.  Ok, take a breath, we have time . . . pray.  As the baby’s torso came down I kept reaching for the arms to help deliver them but they were not within the “easy” reach that I thought they would be.  Breathe, pray, ok, tell her to push again.  I was finally able to reach the arms and deliver them, all the time praying again and knowing that the head was going to be a difficult challenge and praying that God would give me the wisdom to be able to deliver this baby.  Breathe, pray, pray, mentally think it through, and ask her to push again.  But the baby’s head is not coming.  As I struggled in my thoughts of how better to work with this and prayed for God’s guidance, in through the door, unexpectedly, walks my husband (who I thought was sleeping) asking me if I needed any help –how had he known to come in? He hadn’t. . . but God had!  We were able to deliver the rest of the baby.  For the mother this was a very difficult situation –this was the second baby that she had lost like this in the third trimester.  At that moment, though grieved by the loss of this child, I was very thankful to God for the life of this mother and that we had not lost her or caused any injury to her in this whole process.  When I asked her if we could pray and thank God for her safety, she declined for the moment.

Thoughts: It’s not always easy to be thankful.  Sometimes we may not always realize the way God is intervening in our lives or protecting us.  It can be easy to ask God for things but not always easy to thank and praise Him, especially when we don’t yet know the outcome! I’m very thankful that God knows my needs and knows my words before I even say them! 

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The day was yet to be over. On finishing up this delivery and making sure mom was stable, I went to see the other first-time mom who was laboring.  Her cervix had not changed in over eight hours and she was feeling exhausted and asking for a c-section, I consented given her current condition –second c-section for the morning.  Before going back to the OR, I was called to see the lady who’d had the previous c-section because the baby’s heart rate was dropping.  After a few interventions, baby stable, and discussion with mom, it was decided that she also needed to have a c-section done –third one for the morning.  Wow, did we really have to do three c-sections?  As, I left the OB floor to head home for a late lunch, all three mom’s were stable and doing well and the two live births were also doing well and stable.

Thoughts: I was exhausted as I headed home –both mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  I was crying inside for the mom who had lost her baby but I was also feeling blessed that all three moms and the two babies were all doing well without complications.  It’s during these times that sometimes I wish I had a simple job.  But I have to believe and trust that God has brought me here for a reason that He knows what He is doing even when I feel like I do not!  It is in resting in this that I find peace.  I still get anxious and worried but it is a peace that my soul has to stand on and stay anchored to, otherwise I will not stay here long –my heart can’t take it.  I felt very blessed the next day as I got to pray with this mom who had lost her baby –she had also found her peace in the “storm.” Thank you, Lord. 

We continue to need and appreciate very much your prayers for the patients (for physical and spiritual healing) and for wisdom for us as we work through some very difficult situations.

 God bless.